| Can' cook anything for breakfast since my brother is sleeping in the den, once again--so annoying. Can't get into the shower because my dad is in the shower. Cant' wash clothes also because my dad is in the shower. Can't watch TV in the den since my brother is sleeping in there--plus, it's too cold in there anyway. Can't watch TV in the basement because my grampa(yes, that's how I've decided to spell, so deal with it) is watching down there, and I don't want to disturb him. And pretty much can't watch TV upstairs since my dad is home. Can't play loud music because people are sleeping. Can't bug my sister because she's not awake yet. Can't go for a drive because--oh wait--I can't drive. Can't go to the gym also because I don't drive (AND I don't have the will to take the bus there partially because I have no cash to spend anyway). And I CAN call my mister =) but I'm not going to just yet because I think he deserves to sleep a little longer since he works hard at UPS and stayed out late last night to get his resume (don't know how to add the little accent thing) finished and printed for a new job that he's trying to get. Not really sure why the hell I'm awake at quarter to nine in the morning when it is one of the last few days of my Christmas break or why, even worse, I woke up at 7:29AM without any alarm whatsoever. I could probably find something more productive to do, but I've decided not to. So . . . I decided that I might as well update "my poor abandoned xanga." Apparently, I should have a lot to say since it's been about three and a half months, right?
So like I said it's one of my last days of Christmas break. I have mixed feelings about that. I am in no way ready or excited to start class or work once again. It's kinda funny when you think about it. After going to school seven hours a day five days a week all through high school with multiple club meetings and cross country and track practice, a total of up to 15 hours a week of class should be a freakin' breeze. I'll admit that compared to Ignatius sometimes college seemes a bit easier, but in truth, IT'S NOT. Knowing that in the end it's my own choice whether or not I go to class or whether I not even wake up to go to class is a freedom that is too difficult to handle at times. This semester I'm hoping to get it right. I have 6 classes on my schedule right now, but I'm pretty sure I will just pick one to drop at the end of the first week of class since I need to get AMAZING grades this semester, and I have a job since I need he extra money. Regardless of which class I choose to drop, I will have Fridays off this semester without having to take any classes that start at 7pm or later and without having more than 3 classes in one day. So I'm kind of excited. As long get my butt to class and form some sort of stdy habit and meet a couple people in each of my classes, this will hopefully be one of my best semesters so far. My goal is to make the dean's list this semester. (Realizing that this entry is a little bit boring, but you know what? I don't really care. If you're bored by my writing, then screw you. Don't read it. I'm writing this for me, not you). Hopefully everything will work out =/ I'm a little scared, but we'll see.
I start work again this coming Sunday, too. I'm not extremely excited, but it could be worse, right? At least I'll be seeing people again, it's not a very difficult job, and I'll be making money. I'm considering gettng a second job this semester, but I'm not too sure. I really need extra money, but I REALLY need to get grades, and even make the dean's list, to be sure that I'll have a scholarship next semester. I hate responsibility, and I hate growing up. It just plain sucks.
Getting a job that you don't like because you don't have a degree yet.
Waking yourself up in the morning to go to classes that you have to work hard in to get the grades you want, or in my case NEED.
Not as much time to see friends, because they have jobs and class and homework or go to school in different cities, states or sometimes countries.
Not enough time to see family, because they have their own lives, too. In my family, both my parents have jobs that take up a full day, my grampa's first language is ilocon(which I don't speak) although he does speak English decently, but I'll still can't communicate with him the way I really wish I could. My sister is starting her new life At Marquette. My one brother is living it up as a travelling nurse on the other side of the country. And my other brother is still struggling to find his direction in life(that's the nicest way I can put it).
Needing to make money to pay stupid stupid bills or too buy your own groceries, or every once in a while, treat yourself to something nice.
And the responsibilities and suckiness just kind of pile on and on until you get older and move on to more difficult things in life. That's why I always tell the kids who look up to me and say "I can't wait to have a job, or be in college, or whatever" that they should try as hard as they can not to grow up, because it's not as great as it seems.
So . . . I'm not actually sure where I was going with this whole entry, but I think I'm done for now. But knowing me, there's a chance I might be back very very soon, and there's a chance I might not be back for a couple months. We'll see =) |
